Shattered Rose how Love takes you on a Journey

A story wrote to be a pastor's wife from Ennis, Texas so of course there several scripture verses mentioned in this book and Christian values. This book is quite sad but enduring. Sorry if this post is a bit long I just could not find a way to edit things out that did not pertain to the main story. 

When obsession and love blend, and darkness consumes the mind and spirit, is it even possible to recognize the light? Set in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains, nineteen-year-old Avery Nichols embarks on a journey of love, loss, and recognition that perfection is often an illusion. She gives all she has to the one man who cannot love her back, but still refuses to let her go. Now another fights to give her everything she doesn’t believe she deserves. It is the beginning of her sophomore year at Winsor University, and Avery is determined that nothing will stop her momentum, not even the internal battle she has fought for four years. Forced to live on campus because of her alumni scholarship, she is thrilled to get a University Apartment and is swept away by her roommate’s cousin, Jake, whose charm and charisma touches every part of her soul and shatters every piece of her heart. 

Broken and lost, Avery meets Parker, a man who not only offers her hope but also teaches her to love in ways she never thought possible. Jake is complicated and damaged, fighting to find his way after the loss of his mother, and despite his every effort to stop it, Avery gets behind his defenses and forces him to feel once again. He doesn’t want to love her, but can’t let her go. Parker is genuine, honest, and falls for Avery the moment he sees her. He wants nothing more than to love her if she would only let him.



   I have mixed feelings about this book because Avery is messed up, she gorges on food then of her own free will forces herself to throw up 5 times. I know bulimia is an awful disease/disorder but, I just don't understand it I hate throwing up when I'm sick I could not fathom doing in when I'm healthy and voluntary. Everyone has something that has to deal with that plagues them I guess a fear or phobia a disease, disorder, or quirk that makes them who they are and they have to deal with it or maybe overcome it. But even though she has problems she is not the worst person in the book Jake and his cousin Issy have more problems than Avery.

   So this story starts out with the classic boy meets girl scenario but it does not end the way one might expect. Avery falls for the handsome Jake on the first site. He is the cousin of her new roommate Kaitlyn who goes by the name Issy. Avery is a college student pursuing a degree in engineering and likes to run. She lives in an apartment with Issy who has some problems and her cousin Jake stays over a lot and also has some problems and calls himself a perpetual caretaker looking out for Issy who drinks and parties all the time. He took care of his sick mother until she died in the summer.

   Avery and Jake get to know each other and start dating quickly after meeting each other even though Issy warned Avery about him not be a relationship type guy he more of a love then leave him type. Issy is no better she claims she does not date. Jake takes Avery out and they go on zip lines she was scared at first but soon enjoyed herself. She spends so much time with him that her grades start to suffer and she blows off doing her work-study job. She gets obsessed with him. But he can't be truly faithful to her even though she makes him feel different than other girls he does not know how to handle these new feelings and feels like she is smothering and pressuring him to be something he is not.

   Avery struggles with a terrible eating disorder called Bulimia even if it not specifically called that in the book. She gets anxiety attacks and her way to deal with them is to binge on food and purge by making herself throw up. Soon Avery loses her virginity to Jake and he changed after that night, becoming detached and standoffish. She goes to his apt one day and finds another girl there and she devastated he tries to tell her it not what it looks like but she can't believe him. She sits down on a bench and hears a guy reading from the bible and this is where Avery meets Parker he sits down beside her and just holds her hand and does not say anything. She finally real meets Parker a few days later at the same bench they talk for a while then he walks her home. Once inside Issy and Jake are watching a movie and Issy later asks or more like begs Avery to come home for Thanksgiving with her and Avery reluctantly agrees. 

   Issy and Avery are out shopping and the see a picture in the art gallery window and Avery just stares at it and then Parker walks by they invite him to dinner and of course, Issy has to call Jake to tag along and Avery is upset about this she does not want to see him. The dinner is awkward, to say the least, and Jake accuses Avery of having him invited to flaunt Parker in front of him but she had no say in the matter. Jake at first is not concerned with Avery but later he moves his chair closer and touches her thigh and looks like he wants to consume her. She hates how Jake still affects her so deeply. She wondered why Jake was so upset she met another guy that she was just friends with so far. Jake acted jealously yet he was the one who wanted a break from their relationship but did not think it was a total breakup. 

   When Avery got home she was so upset and binged and purged she had only been 3 since her last attack from her bulimia. She met Parker at the library a few days later and they studied together and he asks her if she dated Jake and she said they went out for a while this semester. Then they went outside and laid in the grass and talked they had their first kiss and that started their relationship. Avery realized she had not thought out throwing up since she met Parker and it had been 4 days since her last episode. Thanksgiving was upon them and Avery did not want to go and be stuck in between Issy at her mom's or go with her to visit her dad. The whole trip was a disaster Jake tried to seduce her which she almost gave in until she got a message from Parker. She couldn't figure out how to get away from the hold Jake had on her heart. Finals week was approaching she saw Parker and told him what happened over Thanksgiving with Jake and that no she was not back together with him but still was not completely over him.

   Sometime later Jake came to Avery and her room to talk and he sucked her back in just as she was starting to get over him again. Right before he left Jake said you'll see. He knows he's not good enough for her yet it is trying to change and be better. Issy tries to give her a gift card that she weaseled out of her dad. Parker asks Avery to go with him to his parent's house for Christmas. Avery was looking for Christmas presents when she came across a picture of a zip-line and purchased it to give to Jake for Christmas. She saw Jake the next day and gave him his gift he asks her to spend the day with her, but she couldn't because she was going home with Parker. On the drive to Parker's parent's house they played gas station scavenger hunt and she asks how he had time to put this together and he said he had planned it out during Thanksgiving, but she said we really weren't completely together yet. Parker said, "I knew I wanted you with me the first time I saw you." His first question was to ask what happen the day that they first met on the bench and she told him about Jake and her grades slipping. His last question was if she was still was over Jake. she dreaded that one and answered she was getting there. They had a great time with his parents she even went to church with them and his mom gave her a bible. Parker asks her to attend a military ball with him on New Year's she said yes.

   She got back into her apartment after Parker dropped her off and Issy was there, and Avery gave her a present a flask with an engraving. Issy gave her a silver shaw. Issy said Avery ruined Jake he was being a bore. She went shopping the next day and found a note from Issy with the gift card to buy a dress for the ball. Her trip to her parent's house was less enjoyable because he mom was the main reason for her eating disorder by always making her exercise and scrutinizing what she ate. After the holiday was over Avery Issy wanted to get out with Avery and Jake. Jake tells her she can't avoid him forever he had called Avery several times over the break. He believes they are still not over each and he asks for one night she told him I'm with someone else now. That night Jake told Avery why he broke up with her, he was afraid of the feelings she made him have that he never felt before. 

Parker shows up and Jake is there and he is mad to see him in her apartment she told them Jake and Issy are practically inseparable he was upset to hear Jake sleeps there and has a key. He took her in a cabin in the woods and they went hiking. On a break from the trail, Avery thought it was best to be totally honest with Parker. So she confessed to him about her problem with food and eating disorder of binging and purging and that her family avoid conflict and sharing their feelings. She also said she only told one other person her best friend Cara who she stopped talking to this semester because she keeps bugging her about her issues. Parker took the news well and declared he loved her and of course she couldn't say it back yet. He told her about his relationship with Christ and how he loves everyone. She told him later how long it had been and that she can't seem to get past the one month mark. 

Avery wanted to take their relationship to the next level, but Parker said they were not ready yet and that he views sex for after marriage. He asks her if she ever had sex and she had with Jake and Parker said "Is there anything that guy didn't take from you." New Year's was here and they went to the ball and Issy and Jake her having a party in the apartment. Parker gave her a silver rose necklace for when she reached that one month point. When they got back to the apartment after the ball it was too quiet. Avery found Jake passed out on the couch and Issy not breathing in her bed in a pool of vomit she calls Parker he comes in starts CPR while she calls an ambulance and wakes Jake up. They follow Issy to the hospital and stay until they found out she is stable and in a coma, Parker wants to stay the night with her at the house but she refuses and wants to be left alone.

After he is gone she cleans up the apartment and goes into Issy room and sees the flask and feels guilty and thinks it her fault which causes her to get upset and she takes the necklace Parker gave her off and throws it and she throws up. She goes back to the hospital and Jake comforts her they get closer and he starts spending the night at the apartment. He tells her that she has this look she gives of adoration, respect, and love, and when he saw her give it to Parker he knew it was over and wants now to friends with her.  Parker asks why she was not wearing her necklace and she lied about forgetting to put it back on. 

Back at the hospital Issy's dad was there demanding she be moved to a better one and so she was taken to Duke Medical Hospital and he tried to blame it on Avery and Parker but they said if they helped save her life by checking on her. Days later Parker asks how Avery was doing and said "You have to talk to me, baby. I can feel you slipping away, and I don't know how to stop it." She tries to reassure him but knew she was drifting away from him. They found out Issy is awake so they celebrate with Champagne even though Avery says she will only drink one glass she gets drunk and they start kissing and Jake says "baby it's always been me and you." She might have gone all the way and had sex with him if her Issy had not called her on the phone. 

The next time she sees Parker she tells him Issy woke up and wants to take a break from their relationship and he was confused and did not like what she was saying. Avery said she was not good enough for him and told him she did not deserve the necklace because she threw up and said he is perfect. He says he is not and he doesn't care about her flaws and everyone has issues and she not getting rid of him without a fight. She told Jake that he did not need to stay over anymore and said what they did can't happen again. 

Parker had to leave for the weekend to train and was worried about leaving Avery. He called on Sunday and said he would not make it home for their date so she changes her clothes Jake noticed and ask to come over and they ordered pizza. But instead of it showing up Parker arrived and was not happy to find her alone with Jake. It asks how long? she tried to tell him it not what he thinks that they are just friends and it is going on since Issy got hurt. He knew something was wrong and he quoted the scripture "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." Of course, Avery did not know what he meant. Parker could not understand how she could be around Jake because how much he hurt her she said Jake was there for her when Issy was in the hospital. Parker said he tried to be there for her but she would not let him help. He said there was no way she could just be friends with Jake since they had sex together once. He thought she invited him over but she didn't and he ask if she was sleeping with him. Avery said no and she was hurt he would even ask her that. He said you can't have both of us and sit on the fence. 

Jake texted and wanted to come back over she said she was fine and told him no. She found an envelope Parker left inside was a picture of a rose with water droplets on it and he wrote a note he said we are all flawed and this is how he saw her.  She smelt the pizza and started having problems but she overcame them and threw in the dumpster but hit it to take out all her frustration. She was tired of living up to everyone else's expectations so she went back up to the zip line then she went to Mount Pisgah to hike the trail she and Parker went on. She remembers hearing some scripture then she pulled out the bible his mom gave her. She found the letter she wrote to Avery saying that she has been praying for the girl that would one day be Parker's wife and when she met her at Christmas she knew Avery was the one. There and then Avery prayed to Jesus for the first time. 

She had to go tell Jake that it was finally and truly over with them. she told how bad he her he said he knew. Jake said he did not want to fall in love with her and she said someone else wanted to love her. Jake said he saw how strong she was now and wanted to be with her. But, she told him she did not come here to get back together she came to say goodbye. He did not take it well he forced her against the wall and started kissing her and holding her too tight. He finally let go when she said you are hurting me she said she loved Parker and was only obsessed with Jake and let it consume her life. 

Then she went off to find Parker and ended up at their bench she saw him crying she apologized for hurting him and she angers at herself for doing so she poured her heart out to him. Telling Parker all her fears and insecurities about their relationship thinking no way would it last so she ran away from his love. Then she told him she loved him and told him she prayed for the first time and wants to earn his trust again and ask for forgiveness. He hugged her and said you never lost me you just couldn't see me and he said we are changing your locks. 

In the epilogue, Avery has gotten good grades and pursuing a degree in structural engineering and it been 4 months since her last episode. Parker encourages her to see a counselor and it was helping. Parker shows up and says he loves her and is impatient and wants to start their life together so he pulls out a ring box and proposes. Avery says yes of course and the crowd that had gathered applauds.